Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
