You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
