Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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