Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
