A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
