Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
