Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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