im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
