period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
