she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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