I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
