google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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