"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
