ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
