I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is my gift to your gina
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
