so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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