Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
