just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
