STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
