I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
