You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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