Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
