dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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