She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
