I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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