Non-Jews are for practice
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
