Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
