i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
