He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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