Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
