I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
