covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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