Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
