Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
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He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
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Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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