Rock
Scissors
Fuck
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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