My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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