***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize