Im at strip club and am horny
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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