I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
