I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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