there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
