just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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