I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
