Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
