woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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