would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
