dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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