now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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