Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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