Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
