Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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