Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
