Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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