if you like me you must not know who I am
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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