She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
