I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
