I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
