I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
