Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
