where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
