rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
