Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
