Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
