She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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