Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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