i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
